Letter to Dan, my son, my soldier by Chelle Stockman

8-26-06

Dear Daniel,

       Howdy doodie soldier man. This is your mom. It's 22:52 Saturday, August 26th.  I'm missing you at this moment.
       You know how I like to gamble? Well, 13 nights ago, I went to Casino San Pablo. I told myself that if I won $100.00, I'd stash it away along with the money I brought to play.  I'd gamble with whatever was left over unless I hit the big one. In that case, I'd buy tickets for the family to come out to you in a few weeks. Right away I won over $200.00.  So I stashed the 100 note away.  I kept going up and down winning probably 200, 6 times. 
       There had been some women, whom I'll refer to as jackals, that bothered me, begging in various ways, getting way too demanding and personal. I reported them and asked for security to escort me out when I "felt" like going.
       The women are part of a gang who pick victims, call in vehicle descriptions to nearby cars and dispatch them to follow the intended victims. I was followed to my salon and a gunman caught me as I was doing garbage duty and talking to Dad on the cell phone. He made a wide sweep around my backside; something told me to face him, so I did. He hit me over the head a few times and my left arm went up.  He launched backwards then flew forward into my right fist which caused him to slip and fall.  On his way down, I screamed into the cell, "Ron he's got a gun.  He's got a gun, Ron!"
       He cussed, ripped my phone out, stomped on it while I made a move away from him.  He lunged again only to get my knee in his neck and sternum. I jumped into the salon pulling the door toward me.  He grabbed it and said, "Oh no you don't."
       With that, I slammed the door and bolted it.  "Oh, yes I do!"
I got to Judith's phone, dialed 911 and as I spoke to the dispatcher, one person was banging and shaking my back door while another was shaking and beating on my glass front door with a metal object.
       There's a lot more to this event, son--a lot.  Bottom line Soldier, two of us lived that day--the gunman and me.
       The irony is that I won $140.00 total and that's what my cell phone, smokes, and coffee cost me.  Digthis.  I won what the casino could never give me--my life.
       So, I guess I won't be making graduation.  I was hoping to be blessed with enough to at least send your Dad to join you.  He's holding up pretty well, but he misses you.  He says, "STFU, NUB."  He is real nervous about Jesse and me, our habits, especially since the "incident."
       Daniel? I'm going to lay it on the line. That wasn't me who raised my arms and knee.  Indulge me.  Usually, while talking with folks, I "feel" the presence of the Lord.  God is all around me and I glow inside with a quiet joy.  But when the gunman approached, I was 100% earth--all instinct.  Inside me there was Peace, almighty Peace. I didn't feel the presence of God outside me for I was too earthy in instinct but the divine was inside me.  That gunman was having the dickens of a time keeping his footing and control of his gun.  It was a silver semiautomatic, by the way.  My moves were the moves of the Divine--total precision. Please remember what I've spoken to you about pertaining to God.
       I have a living faith, son.  God abides in spite of my imperfections and sins and I know I've got a purpose in this, my life.  I'm not nor ever have been traditional in any sense. You've always known that. My faith isn't because of the words of man.  The Holy Spirit is my guide. That's how it's always been with me. Expect me to impress this upon you, one adult to another, mother to son, my spirit to yours. So, enough said for now about that.
       The incident was early Monday morning. Over the following days, several people around the bay area were followed home from the local casinos, beaten and mugged by gunman. Wednesday, a 67-yr-old man was followed home from an Emeryville card room, mugged, shot and killed.
                   Some Remain--Some Depart.  God's time, not ours.
                 While the mercy of man is good, it cannot be counted on.
                              Selah  (or at least think about it)
       In a way, the life of a soldier is good. It isn't plagued by circumstances. Civilian life, at this time, is fraught with some serious testing. I'm not saying that I envy you but you should know that I appreciate your choice.
       I dug your letter and saved it. That makes 2 now and 1 from your commander. Commanders have a set pattern when speaking to civilians. (I'll be sure to commit that pattern to my memory.)
       I wish I could talk to you in person. I do in my spirit. I've got some promising news for you, but I'm going to wait for a few more months to tell you. It's like having a baby; keep quiet for the 1st trimester. Only, this baby is a really fantastic project.
       I also wish we could be a part of your graduation--the graduation also of your peers. It's a moving ceremony, I'm told. My gosh, son; it won't be long now. I hope you get the orders you desire, all of you. There is so much you can do. Each of you bring something to the mission. I'm amazed at the vision you share.

                                      Well, I can go on forever.
                                              Love,
                                               Mom. (chelle stockman)

Letter to My Son in Bootcamp by Chelle Stockman

 

From:  Chelle Stockman  (your mom)

           

To:       PUZ Stockman, Daniel E.

 

 

Saturday, August 5, 2006

 

Hello Son!

 

Your letter to us came via Sergeant Meyers.  We speak of you all the time here at home and at work.  I haven’t heard from Javier since your departure.  He is supposed to enter his boot camp training this month and I hope to hear from him before he leaves.

Your pop is doing OK even though Jess has a friend sleeping over.  You know how he detests “outsiders” in “His” domain.  I prefer a houseful unless I’m trying to sleep which is rare these days—sleep that is.  Anyway, I got to hang out with Don and Jess in our kitchen and family room for a lengthy time.  They actually visited with me and we joked.  Of course I seized the opportunity to lecture them. 

                            Hahahaha-the mom’s privilege.

We spoke of retirement funds and the terms “unrealized income” versus “realized income”.  I showed them how the governments of this world anticipate taxes off our realized income which in turns allows them to project what they should receive even during times of deceptive accounting, which in turn grows them to a disproportionate size over the growth of the people they are supposed to represent, which in turn leaves the people holding the debt stemming from the government’s mismanagement of funds.   I know what you are thinking but dig this.  They actually understood it all.  I told them the unrealized income grows families and societies while the realized income is highly taxed over and again but grows un-kept promises with very little good.  I told them to save 25% of their paychecks.  At 18 they can open SEP IRAs with 15% of their income and the other 10% can grow in mutuals which when built up enough, they can take half of it and invest it in different stocks.  They will amass more wealth when they need it most, when their ability to earn lessens due to their age.  They dug that idea.   I lectured them about brand names how they sap your income and offer no returns.  Though I must admit, Jesse gets good value during his reselling of his shoes.  That bugger is hep to horse-trading aspects of life.  Too bad I’m learning this at such a late age (48).  Better late than never I suppose.   I suggest you and your comrades think about doing the same thing, Son.   Take care of each other in this respect.

Gran is doing Ok though she sure gave Dad hell last week.  I was back and forth 4 times in between clients just to calm her down.  By nightfall she forgot it all and has been joyful ever since.  She sure misses you, Soldier.

And me?  Well, Son, You are my heart.  What can I say except that I’m so proud of you and always have been.You set your goals as a wee child and never ventured off course;- I’ll just forget that you nearly joined the Marines in a moment of confusion.                                 <smile>

 

Thank God for the Army Recruiters.   Sergeant Meyers sure is a good man, probably one of the best of them.  Others are a tad radical, but he is even keeled, like you. Plus he has a good poker face, like you, which means I have to feel out the “essence” to get a good read.  He, like you, is good through and through.  That’s my hit. 

Well, time to go for now.  I have to set-up for the cancer society benefit I’m volunteering for. 

 

Love from your Mom-Chelle Stockman

 

 

Sunday, 8-5-06

 

Greetings my Son!

 

How’s my favorite Soldier doing?  Ya know, last Sunday when you called I was talking by cell to your father, whining that you hadn’t called and that I hadn’t heard your voice.  I was having Dan withdrawals.  I saw your number on my phone and ignored it because I hadn’t recognized it!  I listened to my messages and got all emotional because I had missed your call.  My friends said that my emotional ups n downs would all pass that it is all due to my menopause.   Hmm

So today, past-council and vice mayor, Joanne Schively, took me to see a play in San Francisco.  You’ll never guess what it was titled.  “Menopause-The Musical”!!!

I think the universe is conspiring along side this menopause deal as I become entrenched in the next phase of my life.  <sucks plums>

Side note:  The Raiders and Giants won today!!!  Yahoooo. <smile> 

Back to the play:  I kept checking my cell, which I set to vibrate for your call.  I kind of got emotional and at the end of the play they tried to get the audience up on stage.  I refused to go up because I was afraid of crying and proving their points about hormones.  I just held in my tears.  So afterwards at the restaurant, Donnio, a Wiccan (kind of witch type gal) and some “artistic” friends of mine tried to do a healing on me—in the freakin restaurant!!!.  Can you imagine that???

Well, I sat there all passive as I prayed that either a healing should immediately take hold; or, they would quickly abandon their endeavor to save me from sadness.  Then a thought, a convoluted set of thoughts, entered my mind.  It went like this:

“The Cheese stands alone.  The Moon is like the Cheese because it too, stands alone.  I’m like the Moon.”  Crazy, dontcha think, Son?

Donnio, sensing something was up with me, said, “ Relax and see Daniel strong and content in his choices.”

I turned to her and said, “All I can see is the Cheese.  It stands alone, like the Moon, and I’m like the Moon.”

Donnio’s eyes widened and she said, “Well, that’s a first for me!”  They all cracked up—me too.  It was funny, afterall.  I can just imagine what you are thinking as you read all this.  If you are thinking that my pals and me are a tad “different” (be kind to your momma), have I got a doozie for you, Son.

Friday, Jenny called me because she was on a mission to get a message off to the Supervisors of San Fran, the San Fran Chronicle, and as O’Neall so rudely put it, those fundementalist dykes coming against the rights of men.  He is old-school when it comes to women’s rights.  I was invited but had to go to court with Jesse so I declined.  They were going to do butt-o-grams with slogans on bare butts.  I explained that if people showed their fannies in public, they would permanently be classified as sex-offenders, just like those caught peeing in public places.  I suggested they write their letters and slogans on underwear and call them “legal briefs”.   They dug this idea and so they went to the Mitchell Bros. Theatre to meet up with the exotic female dancers to begin doing posters and painting bottoms or at least the underwear which would cover those sexy bottoms.  What was their message?   Hold on to your cap, Soldier.  Their message was a gift from O’Neall and went like this:

                       “Get your Ducks out of our Quacks.”

Well, he is a cartoonist, Son.  What did you expect?  <smile>

Dad’s having a hissy fit, Son.  He wants me to write a more lady-like letter about the family—one that depicts me as the Christian woman I am.  So, I happen to be one of the nuts in King Solomon’s Garden; that’s who I am.   Hope Dad gets that before we both pass from this world.

I’m proud of you, Soldier.  We all are-family, clients and townspeople.  How you ever came out of my womb so well adjusted confounds the hell out of me.

Just between you and me, I believe your father is suffering the symptoms of my menopause more than I am.  He is simply crazy, pacing around all heavy-footed like a bear.  But you already knew that.  He is over my shoulder at this very moment screaming, “What kind of bullshit is that?”  Oh yeah, he is looking at me with stern eyes as he says, “Tell him, he is a Stockman and he had better do that name proud.”   (???—mad, I’m telling ya—simply bonkers)

We civilians will doour best to take back our rights from those who sully and steal them, Son.  You soldiers just concern yourselves with the mission set forth to you by your commanders.    We are proud of you and we pray we don’t fail you.  Tell your comrades we thank them.  We thank you all for your dedication to a unique cause.  It’s all about bravery, Soldier.  You are all a different kind of brave than the rest of us civilians.

                                                                                    Love from,

                                                                                     Your family,

 by Chelle Stockman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Desserts by Chelle Stockman

The Adult Entertainment Industry has done much to secure the rights of expression (freedom of speech, etc.) for Americans; they continue to do so with checks in balance.  San Francisco has been more progressive than most American cities because they realize how much revenue would be lost if "porn" went underground.  They continue to capitalize on this knowledge and the Adult industry generates a tremendous tax base for the city.

The Adult Entertainment Industry also supported the Gays who were hoping to come out of the closet.  For years they donated funds and time to help secure the rights of our Gay culture and promote awareness against those labeling certain activities as immoral.  Most of my generation remembers Mr. Flynt's struggles against legalism and his victory under our 1st amendment because of what that victory cost him--a permanent ride in a wheel chair.

However, since the right to marry is in the forefront, a segment of conservative gays are now attempting to sit at the table of legalism against the Adult Entertainment Industry that helped them achieve notoriety.  They figure that if they distance themselves through legalistic means from that which is labeled immoral and eradicate those who faithfully supported them, they will secure their rights to dine at that hypocritical table.

I caution these neo-gays.  The mighty sword of legalism will cut them down to size taking many of our guaranteed rights and a vast chunk of San Francisco's revenue with them.  When they attend that coveted yet unconstitutional feast, it will be their grand finale.  Just desserts anyone?

Chelle Stockman

Power of Manifestation

Silly I am, I know.  But, I wanted to create wealth and working hard isn't quite enough.  So, I've studied lots of things including all Susie Orman's main points about respecting yourself and your money. 

I got to thinking about how if you had the faith of a mustard seed, you could move mountains and asked, "Wouldn't it be nice if I could move mountains of debts and circumstances forever away from me and populate my financial fields at the same increase of the mustard seeds?"

You will never guess what I did.  I grabbed some mustard seeds, an oak leaf off the eldest tree in our town, hunted down some trees in the "perfect" public place, then planted those seeds and prayed quickly.  You see, mustard seeds grow quickly and also in abundance.

I'm enjoying this part of the process.  <smile>

Values of the Neo-Cops: Feeding the Bottom Line by Chelle Stockman

Subj: Opinion: The changing values of our police today  Date: 6/24/2006 11:23:48 PM Pacific Standard Time From: GoddessOf7Worlds To: opinion@timesheraldonline.com

Good policing brings honor to a city, its people, the police force; and last but certainly not least, its individual police officers.  Ethical policing unites a community instead of divides it; and creates respect instead of creating fear, doubt and distrust.

I've seen torn cities turn into wholesome communities because dedicated officers compassionately served the people they pledged to protect.  They were fence builders, involving potentially renegade youth in activities that served the community they lived in which built confidence and respect for others.  Some of the officers so believed in the communities they served they died because of it. Yes, I'm sure most cities across our country mourn the loss of dedicated individuals whose main purpose was to protect and serve.

I come from a long line of police, clergy, military and union folks; a line which extends from Ireland and Italy, Canada and Argentina, and the United States.
Growing up, family reunions were the spiciest events in my life.  The Irish and Italians didn't always seem to mix well in close quarters but I found that to be interesting as well as exciting.  There was one basic component to our reunions that applied throughout each day until the last visitor departed.  The men gathered together in one area while the women took over the rest of the space, except during meal times of course. I'd always work my way into the men's room where great discussions occurred.  I remember one discussion in particular between an uncle, Constable Patrick Gleeson of Munster and another great-uncle, Leo Vitali who was a policeman in the Calabria region.  Uncle Patrick spoke of losing some friends and coworkers in political attacks while Uncle Leo spoke of cutthroat illegal immigrants and their crimes.  I got scared and spoke my fear.  Uncle Patrick told me to pray for the protection of those who serve us.  I remember the men grew silent and nodded. Though I was only eleven at the time, I understood.

To this day, without wavering, I pray for the protection of those who serve us-the physical protection.  Yet, something has changed drastically in the way policing is done, at least in our city of Vallejo.  I've noticed it changing in the past five years.  The youth have never been more alienated from the community as they are now, while the sick and elderly are being victimized by police assistants in the parking area of Kaiser, having their handicapped placards taken away and then cited.  The process to clear themselves involves paying the fine and registering a complaint to Irvine.  You see, our accounting is outsourced to a Southern California city. 

While I feel deep within my heart that our police are missing some community building opportunities, I'm pretty upset about the parking patrol at Kaiser and highly suspicious of the force behind this.  It is as though our police department is being run like a greedy corporation, full of bean-counters living off the "bottom line" feeding off the youth, the sick and elderly.  Whether its a competition of who writes the most citations, or some hoorah about new discoveries off of "My Space," it is counterproductive to building healthy relationships with citizens and the community they once ethically protected and served.

I'm still going to pray for the protection of those who serve; but as for those who put glory and profit over those they were hired to serve, they'll have to pray for themselves.

With Intention,

Chelle Stockman

Why Respect Becomes Fear

The world must shudder and quake whenever our United States gears up for elections.  People die.  Buildings come down.  Terrorism dominates. Policies fall short.  Investments become unstable. Accusations fly.  New appointees have to be dealt with.  Friends are given an ultimatum and enemies become allies. 

It's like the Maffia insists, "You are invited, you must attend; you aren't invited, you don't go; or else...

Seems the only thing we have succeeded doing in the recent years is to scare the crap out of other countries.

To think we only mean to do away with OPEC and privatize oil.  Why are they all so scared of us?

Was It a Dream? 6-12-06

While up at Jen's this weekend for a gig her son put on (which was fantastic) I logged into one of my favorite chatrooms.  I missed news because most folks in her area watch very little televison and radio reception sucks.  While driving, I could have sworn I heard a BBC report announcing another message of bin Laden. I was sure he told Iran to hold their ground or he was issuing a fatwah against them for their involvement with the crusaders.

But LMMTO and I searched and couldn't come up with it.  I haven't slept a lot since leaving my home town for this visit but the best I can make out is that I had to dream this.  No one else has heard this either.  Hope I'm not going bonkers.  I had to have heard it in a dream.