I began the laundry as I so often do on Sundays. Our Maytag Front loader was something I wanted in order to help my sons do their own laundry and to make things easier on my mother-n-law. She used to work so hard to help keep our house in order while I worked. As years went by her stamina diminished and then all those things were to make my life easier since it would fall upon me to do what Mom was once able to do. Once the newness of our washing/drying unit wore off, the laundry fell upon Mom and myself. Tons of laundry especially from my youngest who changed clothes 4 times a day (school, sports, work and "looking good for the ladies").
Today, I as I transferred a load from the washer into the dryer, thoughts of Mom flooded me and tears filled my eyes to the brim. I miss her. I have her ashed inside an urn that I have in what was her bedroom. It is now the place where I go to think, to read, and to meditate. I'll bead earrings once I have a little work table in there. Her urn sits flat and is a tiny table for a rock and candle display near the corner windows she used to stare out of.
I'm the only female now. Its more lonely than it used to be. For now, I'm stuck in sadness and feel somewhat handicapped as I go through each day. I have to learn to be me again; either that, construct a new me of who I am to be.
I miss ya Mom Laverne.
Chelle
