The Pain in My Heart
How does a mom stop worrying for her wayward child?
How does a father say "our son will never be allowed back home," and expect the mom to behave truly sane?
How can happiness shine in the eyes where sorrow cries?
Who does the son go to when the hauntings at night prevent him from sleeping, when he has no home to call his own?
My son is homeless and I am not permitted to help him in anyway.
When a child doesn't want to do things that are expected of him, when no matter how much you do for him; it isn't enough. When authority of any kind sparks his competitive nature and challenges his independence; when in his quest for that independence he wars with those who care most for him and consequently wrestles with his own desire to do what is right; he ends up doing what isn't right.
Episodes include acting out, which results in destroyed feelings and property. He resents direction, even in the form of suggestion. No doubt, anyone assisting him provokes anger; yet he expects it of everyone else and blames them for providing the very things he needs or asks for. The problems begin with any and every kind of suspected authority and I'm concerned that my problems manifest as my son moves toward his end, which indeed appears to be in the hands of authority. The very thing he desires, self control, is elusive; and as he manifests anti-social behavior, his desire to be in charge of himself could forever be taken out of his hands leaving him with no hope to live a normal life. My most profound desire as a mother is to have my child live as normal of a life as is possible, but, that's to much to hope for at this time.
God protect him, protect his heart, his mind, and his soul.
Father's mantra, "He will never be welcome here again."
Son's mantra, "Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it."
Where does this woman fit in?
That's all for now.
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6 comments:
No Matter what, even as a father, which I'am, the pain is there just as a mothers love. Just Hidden Deeper. This to will pass, believe me it will. Been there. Best wish's.
Peace
My friend,
We have shared good times, to the point our laughter made us giddy,
When events in our life made our sprits soar.we shared the joy.
We have shared secrets ,we take to our graves.
We sought each other when times were unbearable, knowing, comfort,and kindness, were just a phone call away.
My friend, today I feel your pain. I feel your sadness.
Please know, I pray for peace in your life. I pray your sons guardian angel protect him as you have.
I pray everyday you have a little respite from your trials and tribulations.
A little respite to provide time to heal, collect your courage, patience and stamina.
Stamina to complete all your tasks no matter how difficult.
My friend ,rest if you must, but do not quit. I pray you continue to have faith, hope and Trust in God
keep praying for him, I will too, Chelle
Happy Birthday my friend. Today is your birthday! What are you now, 57? heh heh heh
yes, I am 57 now, but it was the next day after I responded to your blog. Thank you. I hope all is well in your life. That things are improving. I think about you a lot. Bye for now*.
I stand corrected, didn;t read your date of reply.
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