The Locks Don’t Lie

By Lana Wolfe

 

There is no doubt about it; stress takes its toll on the tresses and on the skin.  In fact, stress is the quiet tyrant which kills its host.  The thyroid can rebel and throw the entire system off.  Some respond to the tyranny of stress and become diabetic.  Research shows that stress in the beginning stages can cause headaches, dietary changes, stomach problems, lack of the ability of being able to focus and several other conditions which if allowed to go on unaddressed can even lead to cancer.

 

Economic strains, fears about the conditions of the world, our work, and our everyday family living are all common grounds for this quiet terrorism on our systems.  What I’ve seen in my chair at the salon has woke me to a problem that has increased these past few years—that of the caregiver.  Who cares for the caregivers of this world?  Forty percent of all care givers are females in their forties and fifties, with children and careers, heavy mortgages and a dying loved one.  This stress might last only a few weeks but can last for several years as is the case of caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s Disease—the preverbal slow death. Both men and women of all ages who are care givers suffer the atrocities of incredible stress.

 

How does it show up?  The hair begins to thin, the skin gets rashes more easily like eczema or psoriasis and weight can fluctuate from thin to heavy, from heavy to thin.  Mind you, this is only the beginning stages of the inevitable if measures aren’t taken to shore up one’s own health.  I’ve also witnessed the stress from final loss that has occurred in some of my clients once their loved one has passed on.  They came down with shingles, a most painful disease.  It is for the people about to undertake the noble task of caring for those who will make their exit from this world that I write this.

 

For those of you who find yourself in the position of a caregiver, I suggest to you; get help.  If you are a member of a fellowship ask that studies come to you occasionally.  This does a few things.  It allows your loved one to see a face other than yours and it also helps you to keep contact with the people and values which are important to you. Not only that, some might be willing to do some of the grocery shopping chores for you, check in on your loved one while you work, and maybe some could help you garden or do other mundane chores.  You shouldn’t have to go this alone.  For those of you who don’t have religious practices, perhaps friends can assist you in these areas.  Use your hairdressers.  We are kind and often generous with our time.  The stylists in our salon all have clients who face one side or the other of the care giving issues.  The slightest chores such as mailing out packages are handled easily and we can groom the hair of the suffering one.

 

Something you can do to ease the burden your loved one suffers is to engage them in small tasks they can do such as painting, doing puzzles, playing cards and watching television together.  It can become a time of bonding for you both.  Their comfort is so important and will become one of your largest worries amidst the growing problems of finding adequate health care.  So you see; there are ways to brighten their day through your creative anecdotes.

 

What about your needs?  I’m telling you that most of the people who are caregivers don’t bother to take proper care of themselves.  They put themselves last because the needs of their loved ones are a priority.  Women are especially negligent in this area.  Things like eating become a chore and proper diet is often ignored which in turn adds to the stress level sneaking up on you.  You must eat proteins, fruits and veggies in order to keep your energy level regulated.  Plus, fruits have great enzymes that help to ward off disease.   Add a zinc and vitamin C combination to ward off viruses and bacterial invasion.  Curtail your caffeine and sugar intake during this time because you will find your lows competing with your highs.   This will compromise your ability to focus and remember even the smallest details. Depression will then come upon you and not only is it not good for you but it isn’t good for the one you are caring for. 

 

Why don’t you get a physical before you start and keep a copy of the test results in a journal.  You will find that journaling is a huge help.  You can vent there and record the progress of your loved one.  You can record what you’ve eaten and how often you took time out for yourself.  Journaling is a great idea because if you should begin feeling under the weather, the journal will hold the clues as to where you went wrong in caring for yourself.  It will aide you tremendously if you end up going back to the doctors.  Learn to schedule your appointments the same day as your loved one will be seen.  That way you won’t have to make the trip twice.

 

Find a place to relax, join a yoga class for a half hour every week.  You will be given breathing techniques and stress relieving techniques you can take home and practice in between classes.  Sleep is also crucial.  Don’t allow yourself to become run down.  Caregivers need no less than seven hours of sleep but I find that those who are my clients are lucky to get four hours of sleep, one of the first causes of system breakdown during times of stress.

 

Don’t say to your self, “I don’t want to burden my friends or family with this stress.”  Make them listen to you.  You must talk about all aspects that cause you stress because it is you the suffering ones depend on.  Talk away!  Again, this could be a great time for more significant bonding through your support systems.  Allow this dilemma to work for you. Roselle Angwin suggests that caregivers need to put themselves on the priority list of caring for themselves.  She says to pen yourself in without guilt and keep yourself laughing through their sad time.  Laughter is a great healer for everyone concerned.

 

As a hairstylist to several women and a few men who have entered the life changing role of caregiver, I keep my clients laughing and have cried a long side of them.  I take their spiritual well being into my hands while they are in my chair and always make notes on their health.  I can tell a lot by the changing conditions of the hair and have pleaded to many to seek medical attention.  Eventually, they take my advice but often it comes late and they end up on medications for some illness they have developed as a result of stress.

I ask you who do have hairstylists to please listen to them when they tell you that you have bumps on your scalp, your hair texture has changed, and the amount of your hair has changed.  This is a call for you to make changes in your life.  Know that hair stylists don’t make diagnosis.  Go to your doctor.  Please.

Know that my heart goes out to you all and there is much information available to you.  Below is a link you will find helpful in regards to what is needed of you as a caregiver.

 

http://www.aging-parents-and-elder-care.com/