Chores?...mundane?..., say it isn't so.

Here today at work, I'm separated from all else.  The door keeps the world locked out and me locked in.  Inside it is so quiet I can hear the birds beckoning each other and people in the distance as well as cars racing by.  If I were to really meditate on the sounds themselves, I could hear noise a mile away.   That is how quiet it is in this salon I call Image Quest.  It's Monday again.  What else can be said, it is Monday.

I'm out of sorts.  A month ago, something happened to forever change my life. I wanted to believe it was for the better.  I wanted to lay out a new plan, but it just isn't within me to do so.  I was afforded no closure because the person I have depended on for joy has locked me out and scurried off to hang out with friends who really mean something to him.  I called him, he didn't return the call.  I emailed him, several days later he opened it then deleted it.  I wonder if this is how the others felt when he closed the door to them. So I'm out and I wonder if he is out begging for pics looking for the next to fill his screen for his more intimate viewing. Well of course he is, that's how I met him.  So here I sit as I wait for his permanent departure.  Maybe then, and I doubt it, I'll be able to push him out of my heart, and I doubt that, too.

I have my good days, but none are without a sense of great loss.  I've got nobody to laugh with and shout with, all my reasoning is vacant and there isn't anyone else who can fill that spot, though my friends are always somewhere if I wish to whine, but, why would I do that to them?  So I figure that I'll write it all here where I won't be bothering any humans with my pain.  It is like I told the women of the playfuls, you open your legs, you are done for.  What I didn't tell them, is I knew it first hand.

But, good news!  I still have my chores, yes the hair on the floor how it gets stuck in all the creases, the magazines need to be culled, do the garbage, clean the tint bottles, dust, wash the sinks and dryers, clean the bathroom, fight with At and T about owing them money I already paid them(I think but they are usually right, right?), go to the library for research, call the forestry deptment and agricultural department to get some answers for some citizens in town, then what....home, to dust my house, vaccum the bedroom, clean two bathrooms, fix dinner, log on and stare at nothing, talk to Mary ( always a hilight in my dreary existence) and fall asleep til I do it all over again.  Tomorrow is on it's way, oh joy.